In Rwandan culture, women almost always are responsible for taking care of the home.
But, from personal experience, Rwandan women are very strong forces to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, Hutu women certainly facilitated the genocide in many ways and definitely aided in the planning.
One of the most prominent figures is the former First Lady Agathe Habyarimana who led an elite group known as the Akazu.
She was recently arrested in France on charges of planning the genocide.
One important thing to keep in mind is that while the majority of the victims of the genocide were Tutsis the Genocide had more to do with politics than affiliation.
Many moderate Hutus were also massacred.
Many women who had husbands in the Interahamwe (“Those who attack together” in Kinyarwanda) fled to Congo or Tanzania from the violence.