An Idea To Those Who Romanticise the Criminal FDLR

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In a startling dream on Friday night, I saw an assassin in a passionate romance with the target, the two engaged in inaudible pillow-talk whispers; but the target named Fidel seemed worried by what the hired gun, Monica, a beautiful tall brunette with tanned skin, was saying.

The pillow-talk suddenly got louder with Monica becoming hysterical; she was urging Fidel, a large dark skinned pig-headed man to go somewhere and meet her master rather than put Monica in a difficult situation of having to kill him; she sounded sad.

“Look Monica,” Fidel said, “I know people don’t want our relationship to persist but you have to yield to your own feelings, I know you love me, just be patient as I find a solution to all this.”

From what I gathered, it appears Monica had on several occasions been sent to eliminate Fidel, a notorious criminal that had fled his country to elude justice.

He’s now hiding in the jungles of a neighbouring country where he continues to wreak havoc.

But while out on the mission, Monica did the unimaginable and fell in love with the target, whose sly lies and looted wealth mesmerized the beautiful but naïve brunette.

As a result, Monica refused to execute the assignment, she wrote to her handlers and successfully requested for more time to clear ‘a few field obstacles’ in the process buying Fidel more time to work out his defense apparatus.

“You’re so selfish Fidel, my reputation is on the line here, I have sacrificed everything for this relationship, why don’t you give in, please, please,” a hysterical Monica pleaded as she thumped Fidel’s wide hairy barrel chest.

When Monica became wild, Fidel, like a tiger, swung off his back and slapped her hard across the face and brought his dark sweaty face close to hers and muffled her moans with a full kiss on the lips to which she surprisingly responded!

The bellicose nature of romance jerked me out of sleep. I checked the time and it was 3am and my efforts to fall asleep again were futile, I went to the living room and switched on TV.

In the morning, I told a wise man about the dream and after listening carefully, he looked at me sardonically and asked; “How the hell did you get such a dream?”

According to the wise man, the dream is about the remnant genocidal force, FDLR which fled to DR Congo and Monica is MONUSCO, the hired gun that’s supposed to deal with the evil force.

Last year, MONUSCO gave FDLR a six month ultimatum to voluntarily surrender but that deadline, coincidentally expired on January 2, the very night I had the dream; now the adrenaline is high with eyes watching MONUSCO’s next move.

Will MONUSCO strike FDLR? While that’s what was promised, it’s unlikely to happen very soon which explains Monica’s hysterical attacks during the bellicose romance.

Some geographers say that DR Congo is the heart of Africa but if that’s true, then the continent has a serious heart problem and could soon experience a fatal cardiac arrest if the supposed heart surgeon, MONUSCO doesn’t get to work.

FDLR is benefiting from the legacy of former dictator, Mobutu Sese-Seko who gave an open invitation to various armed groups that were fighting governments he deemed to be against his own regime. From the 80s through the 90s up to now, each of Congo’s seven neighbours at least had or have a rebel group fighting them based in the porous jungles of DRC; Gerard Prunier called them ‘interlopers.’

They included rebel groups such as the Angolan guerilla movement, UNITA, Uganda’s NALU started by Obote’s former staffer, Amon Bazira and the West Nile Liberation Front (WNBLF) that were both fighting Museveni’s newly installed administration in 1986.

Also in there was the Burundian CNDD formed by Leonard Nyangoma shortly after the assassination of President Melchior Ndadaye in 1993 and the Sudanese army that was using Congo as a base to tackle John Garang’s SPLA rebel group in Southern Sudan.

The last arrival was FDLR, around August 1994, under the cover of refugees and established camps that soon turned into military bases partly under the UNHCR guardianship.

After the fall of Mobutu, President Laurent Kabila’s government and now that of his son Joseph, should have worked with neighbouring governments to liberate the Congolese heart of these defects.

Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened. MONUSCO, which could be regarded as a specialist international cardiologist has been presiding over an unending surgical operation at a very high maintenance budget.

The proximity between Rwanda and the problem is just a few hours and DRC is like a huge bush harboring poisonous snakes behind one’s house. Who will protect the children from poisonous snakes?

By @KenAgutamba

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